The Watch your feet of Jolthog Cryst is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its ban on automobiles, avowedly heterosexual populace, and enforced nudity. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.499 billion Jolthog Crystians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 53.8%.

The all-consuming Jolthog Crystian economy, worth 489 trillion pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,687 pesos, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 344,061 per year while the poor average 26,195, a ratio of 13.1 to 1.

Almost all products in Jolthog Cryst are hand-crafted due to strict employment laws, Leader claims tax rises are the result of 'curses', wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", and scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jolthog Cryst's national animal is the sheep, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Jolthog Cryst is ranked 264,419^th in the world and 3^rd in Cherry Blossoms for Least Corrupt Governments, with 84.56 percentage of bribes refused.