The Most Serene Republic of John Starizon is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and ban on automobiles. The hard-working, democratic population of 538 million John Starizonians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.4%.

The thriving John Starizonian economy, worth 28.6 trillion Stardusts a year, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 53,186 Stardusts, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 157,354 per year while the poor average 14,123, a ratio of 11.1 to 1.

Gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal, former stunt pilots are unable to pass the licence test to fly a drone, orphanages are closing their doors as the government forces parents to actually raise their children, and popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. John Starizon's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

John Starizon is ranked 172,579^th in the world and 3^rd in Candleflame Glow 16 for Most Secular, with 17.03 Atheism Rate.