The Republic of John Gonk is a massive, safe nation, notable for its state-planned economy, soft-spoken computers, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 2.394 billion Gonks are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 23.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped John Gonkian economy, worth 85.6 trillion stars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 35,776 stars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, immigrants who don't like the taste of John Gonkian Turnip Chips are immediately deported, and a major religion has been named as John Gonk's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. John Gonk's national animal is the John Starlight Clones, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

John Gonk is ranked 193,963^rd in the world and 76^th in One in a Million for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 298.08 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.