The Alcatraz Prison Blues of Jail is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.368 billion Jailbirds, 3.206 billion of whom are zombies, are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The large, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 46.4%.

The thriving in Jail economy, worth a remarkable 1,246 trillion cigarettes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Average income is 54,206 cigarettes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 183,849 per year while the poor average 11,798, a ratio of 15.6 to 1.

Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, Harry Potter books are banned, and euthanasia is illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jail's national animal is the prison rat.

Jail is ranked 245,701^st in the world and 4^th in Alcatraz for Nudest, with 74.25 cheeks per square mile.