The Bad Bad Hats of It Hurts is a mammoth, efficient nation, notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, disturbing lack of elderly people, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, devout population of 9.153 billion It Hurtsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 80.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient It Hurtsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,075 trillion bad bad hats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 117,477 bad bad hats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, the trail of chickpeas is a controversial part of middle school curriculum, report cards now include a 'Pain Tolerance' grading column, and gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. It Hurts's national animal is the hat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

It Hurts is ranked 53,926^th in the world and 1^st in Boriopa for Nicest Citizens, with 17.01 average smiles per day.