The Unholy Empire of Hsakh is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Empress von Lohengramm with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, anti-smoking policies, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 16.23 billion Hsakhians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heissenen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Hsakhian economy, worth a remarkable 3,192 trillion nukes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 196,714 nukes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 739,338 per year while the poor average 36,537, a ratio of 20.2 to 1.

Lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, the statue in the Colbert Plaza has a solar panel for a hat, and hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock". Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Hsakh's national animal is the Hsakh snake of doom, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hsakh is ranked 126,739^th in the world and 4^th in Nova Minor for Smartest Citizens, with 32.82 quips per hour.