The Federal Republic of How I Get is a very large, cultured nation, notable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 303 million How I Getians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Spirituality, with Defense and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.8%.

The strong How I Getian economy, worth 16.1 trillion smokes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Trout Farming. Average income is 53,193 smokes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 342,835 per year while the poor average 3,334, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. How I Get's national animal is the silence.

How I Get is ranked 168,279^th in the world and 3^rd in Raylily for Smartest Citizens, with 27.55 quips per hour.