The Jingoistic States of Hobbiland is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Hobbi with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 918 million Hobbilandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hobbitown. The average income tax rate is 40.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Hobbilandian economy, worth 59.1 trillion hobbencies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 64,386 hobbencies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The end of autumn is celebrated with a bonfire of designer bags, Hobbi has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences, women can do what they like if they do what they are told, and religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hobbiland's national animal is the water snake, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hobbiland is ranked 294,620^th in the world and 5^th in Tenenget for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 31.46 on the Kitten Softness Rating.