The Sexy Funland of Hetairaea is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Gwen Matisch with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 16.161 billion Hetairaeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shangri-La. The average income tax rate is 29.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Hetairaean economy, worth a remarkable 6,984 trillion Sauces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 432,204 Sauces, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary, referenda are held for every conceivable government action, and tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless. Crime is totally unknown. Hetairaea's national animal is the Succubus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is communal loving.

Hetairaea is ranked 331,018^th in the world and 3^rd in Project Snowscape for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 16.41 on the Bus Surprisal Index.