The Independent Commonwealth of Hemlock is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prime Governmental Minster of Hemlock with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.17 billion Hemlockians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Bangor. The average income tax rate is 60.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hemlockian economy, worth 769 trillion United Lammunist Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 107,380 United Lammunist Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Artificial intelligences seeking exciting work are overcome with ennui, sex-ed is child's play, destitute athletes are forced to train in the street, and civil servants refuse to enforce government regulations for fear of wider economic impact. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hemlock's national animal is the Eastern Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Hemlock is ranked 117,944^th in the world and 6^th in Alleghany for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,547.04 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.