The Oppressed Peoples of Hellomyfriend is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its aversion to nipples, infamous sell-swords, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 986 million Hellomyfriendians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oldsmobile. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.6%.

The strong Hellomyfriendian economy, worth 58.1 trillion friends a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 58,959 friends, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, the acceptance of acupuncture and other alternative therapies has needled the scientific community, and the government has the power to seize property at will. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellomyfriend's national animal is the friend, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hellomyfriend is ranked 295,849^th in the world and 4^th in Nikara for Longest Average Lifespans, with 60.46 years.