The Eternal Misfortune of Heliosphere is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, digital currency, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 22.885 billion Heliospherans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heliosphere City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Heliospheran economy, worth an astonishing 19,722 trillion Novas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 861,806 Novas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, there's a bright dawn ahead for Heliosphere, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, and astronauts take one small step for Heliosphere and one giant step backward from confrontation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heliosphere's national animal is the Meteor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Heliosphere is ranked 202,079^th in the world and 18^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 5,810.82 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.