The Democratic Republic of Havumaa is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Väinö Salmisalo with a fair hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.339 billion Havulanders hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Koivukoski. The average income tax rate is 77.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Havulandic economy, worth 521 trillion markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 120,225 markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, ships no longer sail as no one wants to encounter Havulandic pirates, and political spontaneity takes a lot of planning. Crime is totally unknown. Havumaa's national animal is the reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ukonusko.

Havumaa is ranked 261,833^rd in the world and 68^th in Alcris for Most Primitive, scoring -195.49 on the Scary Big Number Scale.