The Republic of Hand Island is a titanic, efficient nation, notable for its smutty television, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.18 billion Hand Islandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 68.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Hand Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,517 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 124,581 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Elementary school children develop thousand-yard stares, "Darwin's Disease" is a growing cause of death, Scrabble champions have been left scrambling for scraps, and a sincere statement of belief can get you out of anything. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hand Island's national animal is the Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Hand Island is ranked 27,932^nd in the world and 51^st in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 51.81 on the Kitten Softness Rating.