The Federation of Guavalandia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Cole Phelps with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The compassionate population of 3.425 billion Guavalandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Guavanna. The average income tax rate is 48.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Guavalandian economy, worth 350 trillion Guava Fruits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,199 Guava Fruits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new universal healthcare system has been dubbed Cole Phelps-care by its detractors, there's a hole in the heart of every Guavalandian city, atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, and the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. Crime is totally unknown. Guavalandia's national animal is the Roborovski Hamster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pine Trees.

Guavalandia is ranked 15,804^th in the world and 1^st in Guavalande for Safest, scoring 116.03 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.