The Republic of Gryphonian Dispatch Machine is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zabloing machine with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, prohibition of alcohol, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 12.348 billion Gryphonian Dispatch Machineans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government prioritizes Administration, although Spirituality and Defense are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bucci Donutville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.2%.

The strong Gryphonian Dispatch Machinean economy, worth 741 trillion ingots a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Trout Farming, and Tourism. Average income is 60,025 ingots, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 258,660 per year while the poor average 8,884, a ratio of 29.1 to 1.

The police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain, big floppa has been named as Gryphonian Dispatch Machine's national religion, the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies", and Zabloing machine has just been declared ruler of Gryphonian Dispatch Machine in an international press conference. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Gryphonian Dispatch Machine's national animal is the apple, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is big floppa.

Gryphonian Dispatch Machine is ranked 262,133^rd in the world and 2,444^th in the West Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 62.01 years.