The Giraffe Constituent of Giraffabany is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its parental licensing program, zero percent divorce rate, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.956 billion Giraffabanyians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 55.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffabanyian economy, worth 466 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 94,038 Giraffereums, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers have a preference for fire-and-forget payloads, stuttering trypanophobes are doomed never to marry, Leader is too busy listening to praise to get any work done, and the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giraffabany's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Giraffabany is ranked 280,488^th in the world and 99^th in The Giraffe Federation for Highest Food Quality, scoring 5.75 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.