The Gio of GiovanniCards is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Gio the Card Farmer with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.723 billion Card Farmers are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Card Cathedral. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Card Farmer economy, worth a remarkable 1,485 trillion Cards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 152,754 Cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Soldiers are equipped with multi-million Card battlesuits, weather reports simply advise Card Farmers to 'look outside', mountain rescue missions can end with more people lost than found, and polling place volunteers are suddenly opening a huge number of offshore bank accounts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. GiovanniCards's national animal is the Farmer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Card Farming.

GiovanniCards is ranked 16,538^th in the world and 22^nd in Giovanniland for Most Corrupt Governments, with 114.53 kickbacks per hour.