The Player of Giancarlo Stanton is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Pitches In The Dirt with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, humorless population of 11.458 billion Giancarlo Stantonians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yankee Stadium. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Giancarlo Stantonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,604 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 140,021 rubles, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Skateboarding is punishable by heavy fines, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail, and political commentators say that Pitches In The Dirt's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giancarlo Stanton's national animal is the swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Striking Out.

Giancarlo Stanton is ranked 279,280^th in the world and 10,592^nd in Balder for Most Beautiful Environments, with 6.07 pounds of wildlife per square mile.