The Kingdom of Gestonia is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Prime Minister John Texas Goodlooking with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 9.802 billion Gestonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lincoln DC. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Gestonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,066 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 108,772 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Trolls insist that strings of racial slurs mean "good morning" in obscure languages, you can be fired for dyeing grey hairs, the national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall, and shipping canals are a bit like unimaginative cheese shops -- filled with debris. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gestonia's national animal is the Martins, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Gestonia is ranked 134,842^nd in the world and 20^th in Krillin for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 494.74 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.