The Long Forgotten Republic of Friday Freshman is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Colin Friday with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 25.523 billion Freshmen have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Education, with Defense, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Starfall. The average income tax rate is 81.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Freshman economy, worth a remarkable 4,936 trillion Silver Dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 193,406 Silver Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students do more community service than homework, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR, and the only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Friday Freshman's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Friday Freshman is ranked 331,662^nd in the world and 1^st in The Old Realm for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 16.25 on the Bus Surprisal Index.