The Republic of FreeBSD is a huge, genial nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and lack of airports. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 968 million FreeBSDians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 29.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong FreeBSDian economy, worth 63.9 trillion lire a year, is led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,056 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Wanting a better life for your child is prohibited by a clause in the criminal code, discarded pennies litter the streets, FreeBSDian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, and black gold is looking more brown these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FreeBSD's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

FreeBSD is ranked 26,249^th in the world and 7^th in Conservative Guild for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 5,930.28 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.