The Kyrindor's Stupid Snipe of Featured is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its suspicion of poets and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.259 billion Featuredians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.8%.

The thriving Featuredian economy, worth 160 trillion Featureds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Trout Farming. Average income is 71,158 Featureds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 218,120 per year while the poor average 17,966, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

Scavengers with burlap sacks and shovels skulk around graveyards, the only Maxxmas gift frontline troops receive from officers is a bullet with the enemy's name on it, everyone wants to be on the guest list for diplomatic parties, and politicians and casino owners who so much as wander into the same room are arrested on the spot. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Featured's national animal is the Featured.

Featured is ranked 128,765^th in the world and 1^st in The Great Allies for Most Corrupt Governments, with 7.12 kickbacks per hour.