The Protectorate of Fascinatia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Protector with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, aversion to nipples, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.724 billion Fascinatians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Arkendral. The average income tax rate is 90.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Fascinatian economy, worth 394 trillion Einheitsmarks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,729 Einheitsmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Unsolved crimes are often pinned on veterans with PTSD, famous artwork is regularly confiscated for plagiarism, a five-year-old and a convicted terrorist can sit alongside one another in jury service, and the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fascinatia's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The High Mandate.

Fascinatia is ranked 177,468^th in the world and 14^th in THE SUPER POWERS for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 91.03 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.