The Holy Imperial Fiefs of Falmards is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Holy Emperor Friedrich II Of Falmards with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.622 billion Falmardic men are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Evalorum. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Falmardic economy, worth a remarkable 3,148 trillion Gold pennies a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,404 Gold pennies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 669,252 per year while the poor average 38,739, a ratio of 17.3 to 1.

Black Wolf populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions, it's illegal to be caught on tape, airport users are more worried about radiation than terrorism, and bands of adventurers rove the countryside searching for monsters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Falmards's national animal is the Black Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Falmardic rite Catholicism.

Falmards is ranked 180,735^th in the world and 4^th in United Christian Empires of the West for Rudest Citizens, with 44.63 insults per minute.