The Queendom of F i v e is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, pith helmet sales, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 3.003 billion F i v eans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse F i v ean economy, worth 278 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Cheese Exports, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,824 Golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, vacationing F i v eans expect to be treated as royalty, and bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. F i v e's national animal is the Dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

F i v e is ranked 315,604^th in the world and 8^th in Number for Nicest Citizens, with 0.54 average smiles per day.