The Zurich President of Eyster is a gargantuan, cultured nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 46.152 billion Eysterians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eysterian economy, worth a remarkable 4,491 trillion Eyster-dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 97,316 Eyster-dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

New government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, the police use sound cannons and mortars to deal with loud parties, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, and the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Eyster's national animal is the cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eyster is ranked 35,181^st in the world and 2^nd in Zurich for Highest Poor Incomes, with 69,773.13 Standard Monetary Units.