The Impending baldness of Ethel mermania is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fearless Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 29.92 billion Ethel mermanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great White Way. The average income tax rate is 26.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ethel mermanian economy, worth a remarkable 7,719 trillion yids a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Tourism, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 258,008 yids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vanity is considered the fifth cardinal virtue, condos feature wall-mounted cages containing endangered animals, the nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics, and annual Formula One races bring the capital to a screeching halt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ethel mermania's national animal is the ethel merman, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is the cult of fearless leaderism.

Ethel mermania is ranked 21,347^th in the world and 4^th in Snazzy for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,131.93 on the Clooney Contribution Index.