The Res Publica of Etarmoof is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Triumvirate Council with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 27.186 billion Etarmoofians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Regia in Urbe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Etarmoofish economy, worth a remarkable 8,030 trillion Sesterceses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 295,388 Sesterceses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,724,978 per year while the poor average 3,193, a ratio of 853 to 1.

Proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers, almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices, national stress about the waning heir-line is causing a rise in alopecia, and garbage bags floating down the river are churned up by man-made rapids. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Etarmoof's national animal is the Imperial Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

Etarmoof is ranked 76,402^nd in the world and 4,116^th in Osiris for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 3,722.91 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.