The Loyal Squire of Estelmo is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 8.987 billion Estelmoans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gondor. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.7%.

The thriving Estelmoan economy, worth 630 trillion Mithrils a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is 70,153 Mithrils, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 233,494 per year while the poor average 15,705, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists, cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes, Leader reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, and students and teachers are regularly stopped and searched for symbols of religious affiliation before class. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Estelmo's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Estelmo is ranked 258,250^th in the world and 7^th in Gladden Fields for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 93.98 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.