The Queendom of Espicuta is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Queen Maria de Aquilla with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 11.611 billion Espicutans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aquilla. The average income tax rate is 17.2%.

The strong Espicutan economy, worth 647 trillion Florins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Soda Sales. Average income is 55,798 Florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Visiting dignitaries often end up cuddling in the hot tub with Queen Maria de Aquilla, police officers often conceal their identities to safeguard against public complaints, concert halls sport signs proclaiming "No Shorts, Sandals or Swastikas", and war vets look after war animals. Crime is relatively low. Espicuta's national animal is the Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Fay Christianity.

Espicuta is ranked 204,436^th in the world and 25^th in Teremara for Lowest Crime Rates, with 57.49 law-abiding acts per hour.