The Republic of Epithelial is a massive, pleasant nation, notable for its burgeoning falcon population. The hard-working population of 1.766 billion Epithelialians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 20.9%.

The Epithelialian economy, worth 73.4 trillion rupees a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 41,553 rupees, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Epithelial's national animal is the falcon.

Epithelial is ranked 162,090^th in the world and 681^st in Concord for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 973.65 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.