The Throne of the Golden Dynasty of Empyrius is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Szheirac-emun-Sharrhein with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 6.13 billion Ephaerans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sharrhamenhaerash. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Ephaeran economy, worth a remarkable 1,800 trillion wisps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 293,772 wisps, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fat-shaming is now public policy, contestants on Empyrius's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent, retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites, and women tell their friends they've been on crash diets rather than admit they were pregnant and have had terminations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Empyrius's national animal is the phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Szheraovaen.

Empyrius is ranked 536^th in the world and 4^th in Psychotic Dictatorships for Healthiest Citizens, with 41.62 bananas ingested per day.