The Empire of Empire of Ret is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by HGIM Emperor Phillip III with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, anti-smoking policies, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cheerful population of 16.623 billion Retianers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sankt Denisburg. The average income tax rate is 41.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Retian economy, worth a remarkable 3,076 trillion Korunas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 185,101 Korunas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, the government has announced its plans to construct a giant weaponised robot-cat, the country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state, and Max Barry is this year's Miss Empire of Ret. Crime is totally unknown. Empire of Ret's national animal is the Golden Peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Empire of Ret is ranked 229,441^st in the world and 1^st in League of Sovereigns for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 4,663.03 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.