The Republic of Eitoan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its unlimited-speed roads, flagrant waste-dumping, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 13.758 billion Eitoans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Eitoanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,129 trillion Quadas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,746 Quadas, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 803,769 per year while the poor average 16,116, a ratio of 49.9 to 1.

Child shoplifters spend half their youth behind bars, you have to be a billionaire to qualify for welfare, a popular saying is "don't do the crime if you can't smash the lime(stone)", and interest rates mysteriously drop whenever the CBE Governor goes house hunting. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eitoan's national animal is the Eitoan Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is No official religion.

Eitoan is ranked 261,868^th in the world and 76^th in Greater Dienstad for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.72 kickbacks per hour.