The Republic of Eigenvalues is a colossal, genial nation, renowned for its closed borders, avant-garde cinema, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.714 billion Eigenvaluesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Eigenvaluesian economy, worth 532 trillion Duckcoins a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,937 Duckcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 336,300 per year while the poor average 29,717, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

Many parents are becoming frustrated with their children's choices in spouses, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, wildlife near farms is slowly becoming extinct, and students who refuse to pray are expelled from school. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eigenvalues's national animal is the Duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eigenvalues is ranked 255,293^rd in the world and 948^th in Artificial Solar System for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -6.88 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.