The Empire of Eepyhead is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its state-planned economy, zero percent divorce rate, and ritual sacrifices. The devout population of 3.672 billion Eepyheadians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Environment also on the agenda. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.5%.

The thriving Eepyheadian economy, worth 272 trillion Duckcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 74,247 Duckcoins, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, immigrant Maxtopians are routinely sold on popular internet auction sites, billions of Duckcoins are being poured into a space program, and international tensions are high as Eepyhead threatens any government with the audacity to arrest its citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eepyhead's national animal is the Duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eepyhead is ranked 21,098^th in the world and 9^th in Artificial Solar System for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 3,241.95 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.