The Pipes of East 1 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Paul Pipe with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, parental licensing program, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 21.446 billion Eastians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of East Pipe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.3%.

The frighteningly efficient East 1ian economy, worth a remarkable 3,148 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 146,794 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, and the government spends millions of Dollars every year prosecuting spammers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East 1's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Pipism.

East 1 is ranked 134,938^th in the world and 1^st in Tyrona for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,095.45 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.