The Cynerice of Eahland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Æþelwulf v cyning with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 34.925 billion Eahliscmenn are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The minute, liberal government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cyningham. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eahlisc economy, worth a remarkable 9,554 trillion scillings a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 273,562 scillings, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common, the fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast, posters on 'Eahlisc Values' advise against being proud of Eahland, and the government-sponsored autobiography 'A Æþelwulf v cyning For All Seasons' has only been bought by the most loyal of Æþelwulf v cyning's supporters. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eahland's national animal is the wulf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cristennes.

Eahland is ranked 332,436^th in the world and 3^rd in Avalonia for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -70.29 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.