The Armed Republic of Durmencard is a titanic, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working population of 11.226 billion Durmencardians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.8%.

The very strong Durmencardian economy, worth 703 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is 62,662 cards, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories", parents are relieved they no longer need to help with their kids' algebra homework, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, and crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing. Crime is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Durmencard's national animal is the cobra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Durmencard is ranked 54,901^st in the world and 1,069^th in The catholic military orders for Largest Populations, with 11.2 billion capita.