The Oppressed Peoples of Dithmars is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Catgirl Alexi Saruhan with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, zero percent divorce rate, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.868 billion Dithmarsians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.0%.

The thriving Dithmarsian economy, worth 126 trillion Moneroes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 67,823 Moneroes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 224,068 per year while the poor average 15,353, a ratio of 14.6 to 1.

Televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events, Catgirl Alexi Saruhan has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw, fire stations and hospitals can't deploy emergency vehicles because badly parked cars block them in, and clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dithmars's national animal is the Ant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Dithmars is ranked 79,964^th in the world and 14^th in MJT for Most Corrupt Governments, with 24.02 kickbacks per hour.