The Republic of Dirty Dan is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Dirty Dan with an even hand, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, national health service, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 5.011 billion Dirty Dans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Texas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.1%.

The thriving Dirty economy, worth 355 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 70,929 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 9.4 times as much as the poorest.

Having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom, cheering flag-waving citizens don't like to think too hard about politics, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, and the national anthem's only purpose is to inflate Dirty Dan's ever-expanding ego. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dirty Dan's national animal is the Clam, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Filth.

Dirty Dan is ranked 88,330^th in the world and 3^rd in Galts Gulch for Largest Black Market, with 3.33 trillion Standard Monetary Units.