The Monarchy of Diarcesia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Phlegomy with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 22.042 billion Diarcesians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Environment, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arcesius. The average income tax rate is 97.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Diarcesian economy, worth a remarkable 3,655 trillion golds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 165,825 golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground, lawyers spend as much time preparing their make-up as they do their briefs, Diarcesian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack, and the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Diarcesians any less frightened. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Diarcesia's national animal is the lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Diarcesia is ranked 29,431^st in the world and 1^st in Diarcesia for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 7,045.17 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.