The Catfish loving Women and Men of Des Allemands is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, parental licensing program, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.174 billion Germans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The thriving Des Allemandsian economy, worth a remarkable 3,002 trillion picayunes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Average income is 90,512 picayunes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 344,294 per year while the poor average 16,492, a ratio of 20.9 to 1.

School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment, popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs, there has been a rapid increase of noise complaints over the sound of buzzing bees, and public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Des Allemands's national animal is the catfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is bokonism.

Des Allemands is ranked 67,195^th in the world and 1^st in Calumet City for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.52 law-abiding acts per hour.