The Republic of DatPiff is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, lack of airports, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 642 million DatPiffians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 25.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The DatPiffian economy, worth 25.0 trillion pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 38,910 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life, the nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news, and DatPiff has designated DatPiff City as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. DatPiff's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

DatPiff is ranked 214,667^th in the world and 19^th in DatPiff for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.