The Republic of DatPiff is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, lack of airports, and keen interest in outer space. The quiet, industrious population of 978 million DatPiffians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. The average income tax rate is 26.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The DatPiffian economy, worth 42.6 trillion pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 43,586 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, Tetris has been banned for its graphic violent content, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness', and police detectives carry phrenology calipers as part of their standard kit. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. DatPiff's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

DatPiff is ranked 132,511^th in the world and 17^th in DatPiff for Nicest Citizens, with 13 average smiles per day.