The Graveyard Tours of Dampe is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Dampe with an even hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, ban on automobiles, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 12.736 billion Hylians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hylian economy, worth a remarkable 1,816 trillion Rupees a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 142,621 Rupees, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, town welcome signs list corporate sponsors, the needs of the living outweigh the needs of the dead, and many in Dampe are born in the purple. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dampe's national animal is the Stalfos, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Dampe is ranked 240,264^th in the world and 10^th in The Graveyard for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -5.42 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.