The Holy Crap He Can Fly of D078 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Clapton with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, fear of technology, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.407 billion Slowhands are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yardbird. The average income tax rate is 59.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Slowhandy economy, worth a remarkable 1,264 trillion Banks a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,829 Banks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, election ballot papers are so long that unused ones are recycled as toilet roll, politicians have literally dirty hands from their extracurricular activities, and commemoration of the Great Windows War costs almost as much as the war itself. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. D078's national animal is the Cheetah, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Indigo Blues.

D078 is ranked 91,090^th in the world and 61^st in Windows for Lowest Crime Rates, with 67.03 law-abiding acts per hour.