The Holy Blue Republic of Crippled is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Wuff with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.293 billion Crippledians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yodle City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.5%.

The powerhouse Crippledian economy, worth 338 trillion Gold Coins a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is 78,951 Gold Coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 243,030 per year while the poor average 19,814, a ratio of 12.3 to 1.

Vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, skateparks can be found in every city, running away is an essential part of the elite forces' hand-to-hand training, and military officials are questioning the policy of ceding the nation's territory in exchange for promises not to invade it. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. Crippled's national animal is the Zombie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Yodlism.

Crippled is ranked 144,543^rd in the world and 49^th in Disney World for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 1,298.41 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.