The Kingdom of Crimslog is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by HoloKnight with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed population of 1.694 billion Crimslogians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Logs. The average income tax rate is 35.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Crimslogian economy, worth 94.8 trillion Emeralds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,980 Emeralds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crimslogian TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, HoloKnight's handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars, environmental officials dismiss uncontrolled wildfires burning down major cities as nature taking its course, and citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crimslog's national animal is the Hoglin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Crimslog is ranked 154,971^st in the world and 7,711^th in Balder for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 378.73 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.