The Critters of Creature Comforts is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Columbine with an iron fist, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.937 billion Creature Comfortsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cutesville. The average income tax rate is 71.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Creature Comfortsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,607 trillion Carrots a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 220,066 Carrots, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Jaw strain is an increasingly common ailment, the politician's labor union forces stage names upon candidates, the inner circle of Columbine is looking more and more like a pink triangle, and the government single-handedly sustains the bunk bed market. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Creature Comforts's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cynicism.

Creature Comforts is ranked 14,458^th in the world and 527^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98.49 law-abiding acts per hour.